Friday 21 December 2012

Gold-Digger: A Role Reversal






The word gold-digger used to have a female picture beside it, in my mind’s eye, but the types of men I have met in recent times are determined to change that mistaken impression. I can’t say there is a new trend in town because I am sure it has been there all along without my notice but now, I’m particularly concerned because it seems I have been marked.

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Before now it was taken for granted that, in a relationship between a man and a woman, the man bears the financial responsibility, this is no longer the case. In the 21st century, women have come a long way from where they used to be, they are no longer the shy little creatures whose only purpose is to marry a good man, cook his meals and raise his kids. Nowadays, added to the natural female desire of raising a family, more women are earning their own money, making a name for themselves in their chosen career paths and actually proving that “what a man can do a woman can also do”.

Given the century and the effort being put into gender equality, it is not surprising to see more women being the ‘breadwinner’ of the family or financial source of a relationship. There is nothing wrong with this arrangement as long as they are both in agreement with it. The problem instead arises, when all a man wants from a relationship is financial gain.

This kind of man will actively seek out unsuspecting young ladies who are sympathetic, vulnerable, or are in one form of emotional need or the other; he would provide temporary support by showering fake love in the hope of getting to his original goal which is to relieve her of as much money as he can.

If you have the misfortune of meeting this type of man, consider yourself a Micro-Finance Bank or a mobile ATM. Depending on how much of a cad he is, you go from buying ‘recharge card’, fueling the car, paying rent, to giving monthly allowance.

I have this friend who actually went the whole nine yards, the ‘fiance’ (it’s all part of the grand scheme, any good woman would like to stand by her man no matter what, especially when a gold ring is involved.) moved into her apartment with his sister, she was feeding them, fueling his car and giving him an allowance.

My cousin met this man who wanted a division of labour, he would pay the rent, and she would furnish the apartment.

I have met a couple of these mercenary bachelors; there was one, who wanted me to pay half the rent of his apartment; after all, that was going to be our matrimonial home. Psst!

There is a lot of material to draw from; personal and other people’s experiences, I could go on forever if I wanted, but I am just going to stop here.

Most of these men are good when it comes to physical intimacy, they might seem particularly attentive, and hopelessly in love to the untrained eye, don’t be deceived that is just a hustle. He will be there for you as long as you have money when the money is gone, he will be gone so fast you won't know what hit you.

In truth, the economy is so hard that people are trying whatever schemes they can in order to survive. A number of young men think that the economy is not quite as hard on women as it is on men, I guess that’s how they came up with the grand scheme of professing love in exchange for money.

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If you want to go into a particular line of business, you need to learn the ropes to be successful at it. Anyone who looks at me and marks me for his victim clearly hasn't learnt his art properly, aside from the terribly obvious fact that I have no gold; I am not that naive or vulnerable.

*Use the comment box, tell me what you think is responsible for the rise of male gold diggers.*

9 comments:

Efe said...

This is intriguing. Women emancipation, all the way? Perhaps the guys want the women "empowered".

Vicky said...

only God knows. I have met one such person and was completely pissed. I think he was just selfish and centred. His money was for him and mine was for us. I hated him.

Vicky said...

Self centred I meant to say.

awolanye said...

I get so pissed, you can't even imagine.

Anonymous said...

Yeah this is the trend and has always been though unnoticed.I know.very many cases but I must say the girls were to blame as they obviously projected this "big babe" I'm comfortable & don't need your money" attitude. What man won't take advantage of such a chic. I think some girls r just vwwery stupid. If a guy can hide his wealth all through a relationship just to know if the babe really loves him then I believe ladies should do even more of this instead of trying to buy the guy over and cry victim afterwards. Let her that has ears hear....oyibo says a word is enuff for the wise.

awolanye said...

We cant rule out the fact that some girls bring this on themselves, but the majority are just victims... moreover where is the shame of the men even if she is a billionairess, so what?

Anonymous said...

Laziness, I guess.

Anonymous said...

This trend is increasing in our time!like u said most of them believe the economy is easier 4 women n its way easier 2 hang in with a woman u won't have 2 spend any money on!hence d dating school girl trend is now left for *aristos!I call dis d sex toy syndrome.these men feel a lady should cater for dem just cos they make her feel good in bed!shame on such men.....presh

Unknown said...

First of all...(go down Lo) :-) I think that even though this relationship model has been in existence since the BC times, it has become more rampant in our time due to obvious reasons. 1. As some1 stated earlier the simple fact is that arristos r making it increasingly difficult for struggling men (like us :-) to detect, let alone date a level headed girl. 2. These days equal population of guys n girls r in d market for Jobs so chances are that d job u should have had as a guy in d 80s or earlier has been taken over by a girl just bcos she has boobs n ass (in some cases she's no wer near u professionally). I could keep listing facts but bear in mind that human beings like every other animal is built to adapt. In my opinion, some of us are adapting. Your saying goes vice versa. What a woman can do, a man can also do. #viciouscircle