Let's talk about breast

It‘s eleven years today since I lost my Mum and best friend; She was more of a best friend than a mother, not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. It was our routine in the evenings for me to fill her in on how I had spent my day… boys, and all, I terribly miss that.

Some years before she died, we noticed that her breast produced some sort of discharge she had told us, it was because we(my sis and I) refused breast milk, now I know it was a symptom of cancer that was waiting to take her life.

Mum was so stubborn, she refused to go to the hospital to find out what was wrong with her; When she eventually did, she said: "I would rather die if God will not heal me". This put a wedge in our relationship that was hitherto perfect, I told her since she had made up her mind to die, it was better for me to put some distance between us so when she dies I won’t be distraught. I regret that statement and that I actually put some distance between us. Being the angel that she was she would hold on for me before she breathed her last, for that, I am eternally grateful. In moments when I feel as though I have failed woefully at being a loyal daughter, I think of that act, and I know Mum forgave me, I’m still trying to forgive myself though.

In this eleventh year of her death, I’ve decided to talk about that part of her body that she neglected, and I can only hope that you’d pay attention.

Fait attention

You could call them tits; boobs, jugs, oranges, melons, headlamps, knockers, tatas etc. or we could just call them breast. Some men are so fascinated by that supple mass of flesh on the chest of a woman such that, it is arguably the first thing they notice.

Soft, beautiful, bouncy, sensitive, sexy, curvy breasts are something everyone pays attention to men can’t seem to think beyond the pleasure it would give them and most women are far too concerned about the fitting it would give in a dress or how much attention it would attract.

Breast is the cause of many a woman's insecurities; some women are so concerned about the size of their breast that they would go to any length to see it perfect, from temporary approaches of using Wonder bra’s to give an illusion of a fuller breast or a more impressive decolletage  to creams that are supposed to reduce or increase the size of the breast and more permanent measures like breast augmentation, breast implant and breast reduction. Let's just say breasts are getting a lot of attention, but are they getting the requisite attention?

Women need to learn about loving their breast It’s yours' don't be afraid to explore;  know the exact size shape colour, touch it to know how it feels normally stand in front of a mirror, strike up different poses and take a real close look at it, that way even the slightest changes won't escape your notice, if there is something wrong with your breast, you should be the first to know.

There is a couple of problems that affect the breast regular (once a month) Breast Self Examination (BSE) would help you nip any potential problem in the bud.

Breast Self Examination is easy, stand in front of a mirror, raise your right hand above your head with your left fingertips close together, gently massage the sides of your right breast, start outside; inside the armpit, and gently work your way to the nipple, or start from the top (a few inches below your collarbone) and finish off where your breast stops. Lift your left hand above your head and repeat the process for the left breast.

“A breast self-examination is done to detect breast problems, such as a lump or change in appearance, that may indicate breast cancer or other breast conditions that may require medical attention” WebMD

Most changes and lumps in the breast are harmless abnormal growths.

‘Benign breast tumours such as fibroadenomas or intraductal papillomas are abnormal growths, but they are not cancerous and do not spread outside the breast to other organs. They are not life-threatening.

Still, some benign breast conditions are crucial because women with these conditions have a higher risk of developing breast cancer’ (American Cancer Society)

Breast changes may also occur because of pregnancy, menstrual cycle, or birth control pills in younger women, and in older women; ageing and menopause. The point is whenever you notice a change see a Physician because "every woman is at risk of breast cancer and the key to survival is early detection".

The issue is not Beans

I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I am one of those people who have an issue with Beans, you’d hear me say something like 'I don’t like Beans because it gives me heartburn' or "it makes me stool", sometimes I’d say things like "it makes me feel bloated". Hmm! all of these reasons are true, but what I’m not so sure of is whether this is an acquired problem or one I have always had.

I believe I acquired it and here is why.

I was nine years old, and I was staying with my aunt at the time. My aunt has four children, and she also had a house help whose name is Charity.  Two of my cousins are older than I am, and I am older than the other two. The two older ones and Charity are of the same age bracket while the other two and I are also of the same age bracket.

My elder cousins and Charity were in the habit of complaining about the portion of their meal; they were teenagers at the time, I suppose it was understandable. On this day, my aunt had cooked a pot of beans with soft, ripe Plantain (my aunt is the best cook in the world), she dished it into our plates; we all had our personal plates, you knew which food was yours just by looking at the plates.

As was their custom, they started grumbling about the portions they got. All three of them left their food on the table, as though they meant not to eat it. My aunt was on her way out, she pointed at the plates on the table and told my younger cousins and me that if we were hungry before she got back, and the food was still on the table, we were to take a plate each. She pointed at the plates we were to take, mine was Charity’s.

Perhaps it was meant to be a joke, but I took every word out of her mouth as The Law.

She went out, and we also went out to play with other kids in the compound. I’m sure it was not up to an hour forty-five minutes before I went back into the house, got settled on the table, pulled Charity’s plate of Beans close to me and was ready to do damage to it. I only got as far as the second spoon before Charity met me with her plate of food in front of me. The look on her face when she saw me, I wished the ground would just open up and swallow me.

She asked me to kneel down holding the plate of Beans over my head, and I must not swallow the one in my mouth. She left me in that state and went out to fetch my cousins and my playmates. I was crying so hard and wishing I would just die, the humiliation was more than my nine-year-old heart could bear.

My cousins prevailed on her to leave me alone, and she did, I was asked to eat the Beans if I was still hungry, imagine that! How could anyone possibly be hungry after such humiliation? Well, I couldn't have even if I were hungry because by then I had developed a sudden hatred for Beans.

My earliest memories of heartburn or any other issue arising from eating Beans are all after this incident.

Maybe I have always had an issue with Beans or maybe not.