The issue is not Beans

I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I am one of those people who have an issue with Beans, you’d hear me say something like 'I don’t like Beans because it gives me heartburn' or "it makes me stool", sometimes I’d say things like "it makes me feel bloated". Hmm! all of these reasons are true, but what I’m not so sure of is whether this is an acquired problem or one I have always had.

I believe I acquired it and here is why.

I was nine years old, and I was staying with my aunt at the time. My aunt has four children, and she also had a house help whose name is Charity.  Two of my cousins are older than I am, and I am older than the other two. The two older ones and Charity are of the same age bracket while the other two and I are also of the same age bracket.

My elder cousins and Charity were in the habit of complaining about the portion of their meal; they were teenagers at the time, I suppose it was understandable. On this day, my aunt had cooked a pot of beans with soft, ripe Plantain (my aunt is the best cook in the world), she dished it into our plates; we all had our personal plates, you knew which food was yours just by looking at the plates.

As was their custom, they started grumbling about the portions they got. All three of them left their food on the table, as though they meant not to eat it. My aunt was on her way out, she pointed at the plates on the table and told my younger cousins and me that if we were hungry before she got back, and the food was still on the table, we were to take a plate each. She pointed at the plates we were to take, mine was Charity’s.

Perhaps it was meant to be a joke, but I took every word out of her mouth as The Law.

She went out, and we also went out to play with other kids in the compound. I’m sure it was not up to an hour forty-five minutes before I went back into the house, got settled on the table, pulled Charity’s plate of Beans close to me and was ready to do damage to it. I only got as far as the second spoon before Charity met me with her plate of food in front of me. The look on her face when she saw me, I wished the ground would just open up and swallow me.

She asked me to kneel down holding the plate of Beans over my head, and I must not swallow the one in my mouth. She left me in that state and went out to fetch my cousins and my playmates. I was crying so hard and wishing I would just die, the humiliation was more than my nine-year-old heart could bear.

My cousins prevailed on her to leave me alone, and she did, I was asked to eat the Beans if I was still hungry, imagine that! How could anyone possibly be hungry after such humiliation? Well, I couldn't have even if I were hungry because by then I had developed a sudden hatred for Beans.

My earliest memories of heartburn or any other issue arising from eating Beans are all after this incident.

Maybe I have always had an issue with Beans or maybe not.